Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
