i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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