just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
