I CAN MOONWALK!
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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