....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
