So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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