is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Don't make out with my wife yet
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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