I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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