I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
