i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
