my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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