Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
