u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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