Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
