Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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