So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
