I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
