So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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