Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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