hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
