my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
The Olympian is in my bed
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
