So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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