i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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