We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize