you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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