it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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