i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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