respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Randomize
