A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
