she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
