what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
