Sry I called you an 8
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize