Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
