What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
