Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize