I love black thongs
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
