So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
