If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
you inspire me to be a worse person
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
