do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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