i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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