mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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