They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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