Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
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