What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize