When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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