Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
