okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
