Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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