how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
