She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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