Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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