Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
