just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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