Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
