is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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