awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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