Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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