U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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