On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
