we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
