I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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