Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Randomize
