saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
