Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
